Lately I have managed to have some time off and a significant amount of that time has been spent in reflection about my life, and the usual where I want to be, what things I have to do for the upcoming year. Nestled somewhere amongst all these reflections were some thoughts and inspiration I had about my time on the Sufi path and I wanted to share those with you with as little wise-acreing and as straight forward as possible.
Thoughts/Feelings/Thinking Out Loud
After I was initiated I found myself in meditation saying “Let me go home”. It for some time became my mantra -figuratively speaking. I said it over and over again to myself. After a while I found myself saying “ Take me home”. After some time and much tribulation, I realized there was no place to go, there was no home and Take Me Home got whittled down to Take Me. I found that sometimes in some moments there was no me to be taken anywhere, and that even the concept of “Take” was nonsense. Now there is just silence and nothing to say.
I feel the following applies to any mystical tradition one is following whole heartedly. It is false to think that spiritual study or mystical participation is way to cure one’s self of mental physical or emotional problems. Spirituality and mysticism really start from, and this is my opinion, from a place of balance and proper mental physical and emotional health. If someone is not balanced before entering upon a course of study then the experiences and many of the happening on the path will greatly unsettle one.
Balance must be maintained between what is physical and what is eternal by being conscious of both. One must not dive so deep into eternity that one does not know what time it is, nor so immersed in the physical that one is unaware of immortality. As there is night and day, so there is the change of consciousness from the physical to the spiritual, and from the spiritual to the physical. By keeping a balance between these two conditions a person leads a complete life.
Balance is something which is as rarely found among mystics as among others. When we become interested in something, it is our nature to want more and more of it, whether it is spirituality or something material. If we become very spiritual and are not material [enough], we lose the world. If we were not meant to live in this world, we would not have been sent here. – Hazrat Inayat Khan
This [mystical practice] is a tempestuous love affairs there are amazingly high highs and unbelievably low lows. I kind of feel one is broken down completely to be made whole again. If one isnt balanced then this is a much more drawn out and painful than it has to be. From the time one says yes, one no longer belongs to one’s self. I don’t thing anyone who takes the plunge has the vision necessary to know what they are getting into.
I think at times we all tend to take this mysticism thing a little to seriously. We are still human beings we argue, have likes and dislikes, raise families, go to work, read etc. We can’t really live in a a state of deep communion all the time how will children get fed if we are lost somewhere stumbling about in deep meditation. How will we care for the earth? I think there has long been a repudiation of the everyday. We are I feel given a two part task to experience to witness God/The Absolute, and to experience and witness God/The Absolute beyond creations. Focusing on one without the other to counterbalance I think leads to skewered results. Looking back on Sufi masters of the past, there explanations was to really make the ego subservient to the spiritual heart as far as I know and understand in my limited way. I feel myself included that spirituality and mysticism is to makes one live more fully the complete range of human experiences.
To Be continued