Reflection on Blogging about Sufism and my experiences with it

I have a felt for a while a need to talk about things more clearly, more personally.  The blog has grown into its own thing. I have met and made many friends through the blog and it has opened avenues for me I could have never imagined possible. Writing the blog reminds me a of a quote by Winston Churchill:

Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public.”

In many ways this has been similar, some days no matter what I want to do I have to come here and write other times, I cant stand the sight of it. Quite often I have to take a break from it and like any good love affair I have decided to quit writing here often, but here I am.

The Mystical Path and its Implications

In His latest book Fragments of a Love Story Shaikh Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee describes the mystical path as being the most difficult, demanding, dangerous and intoxicating journey one can makes. There is no preparation for this kind of journey, and it doesn’t pay I feel to hold onto any belief or idea too strongly. I have decided to share on the blog part of my mystical journey with you, and often once I put something down a few days later  something happens to completely invalidate whatever I held to be true. In a past post I wrote: One of the most painful part of being a dervish is watching all your ideas and expectations get ripped to shreds. One cannot as Shah Nimatullah has said hold an opinion to sit in the circle of the Friend. The following words are also from Shah Nimatullah:

Whoever sits down with the Friend must give up holding his own opinion. Eventually with the eyes of pure intuition you can see that left and right and everywhere there’s Nimatullah – the wealth of Allah then whatever is hidden or revealed in this world will materialized before the ears of you soul and declare that everything throughout the world everywhere end to end is but a reflection of a ray cast from the face of the Friend

We’re prisoners in the shackles of an immense passion Afflicted and tormented with manacles on our ankles we are the miserable ones in the deserts o love skilled in the field of riot and revolution. Sometimes were thunder sometimes a bolt of lightening sometimes were clouds sometimes the sea. Sometimes were intellectuals sometimes were crazy were bewildered…just bewildered headless, footless, nothing in our pockets, worthless drunkards… though sometimes were revealed sometimes concealed sometimes earth-like were abased and debased sometimes sky like were exalted and transcendent in the tavern of ruin like Sayeed we’ve fallen down beyond all religion or infidelity after draining cup after cup after cup of wine.

This doesn’t of course mean we throw our rationality and common sense to the wind. Not at all! The key experience, I feel from what I have read and from what I have experienced  so far is that I don’t belong to myself. It is a very different experience to not belong to oneself and to watch what we thought or understood of ourselves to withered away.

For example the practice of zikr or rememberance can be and is a very difficult practice. It hollows one out, it unsettles one, it dredges up from the past all of our short comings, all the psychological and psychic knots we have. I often time feel as if I don’t have the courage and the energy to do it, while working 2 jobs, and fulfilling all my responsibilities, but through grace the little I have done  has opened myself to new possibilities to new ways of seeing, of hearing , of understanding, a new life that always was ever present  even though I didn’t notice it.

The More You tell the less you tell

One riddle I have come across in sharing things through the blog has been that the more I tell, the less I tell. Silence is the only true language for which everything said is a bad approximation – that my bad paraphrasing of a Rumi quote. One thing I have appreciated more and more as I continue onward is silence  which is more than just being quiet. But it is very difficult to talk through silence. Words really I feel serve as a means of obfuscation, a subtle distraction and deception but yet they provide a makeshift bridge for those in tune with what is being said behind them.  I wrote the following words one night about this, they are part of a longer poem in an upcoming publication of mine.

We’re so enthralled by beach scenes, especially
the crashing waves that seem to be the only

reminders of the untamed World that waits
for us, just outside our city’s invisible walls.

Yet for all its beauty, we fail to see that
energy animating the wave, giving them winged sandals

to walk across the face of the sea.

One response to “Reflection on Blogging about Sufism and my experiences with it

  1. Pingback: Way Of Heart « ♡ The Tale Of My Heart ♡·

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